"Appetizer, sir or madam? Would you care to try our ACC game? It's very good - Virginia Tech at Pitt. Or perhaps you would prefer something more...westerly? We also have this delightful Pac-12 matchup, with Utah visiting Oregon State if you'd like?
"My recommendation? M'sieur, I would not be so bold as to suggest what m'sieur prefers. But if it were my place to recommend, I would like the turkey and the beaver, myself (the Hokies and the Beavers) as they are under valued, in my humble opinion...
"Very good, sir or madam; very good.
"Now, for your main course this evening? Our specialty is delightful - a steaming hot plate of Rex Ryan, boiling in New York Jets green sauce, heaped onto a delicious pile of New England Patriots, with a side of Belichick and Brady to agitate it, give it some spice! Yes? No?
"Ah! Just like me! You'd prefer it with more Patriot and less Jet? Don't worry - that's what you'll get tonight: lots of New England with just a very tiny amount of NYJ,
"Magnificent! And for dessert? Can we bring you something on the blue? Perhaps some Fresno Bulldog? With a side of Boise State? No? Hold the Boise? Well, that would be a ten-yard penalty, but we expect much more Fresno than Bronco in this dish tomorrow night.
"Ah, very good, sir or madam. It is a pleasure to serve you!"
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